An image of hope

The point of starting this blog was to write about my motivations for photography, about the emotions and experiences that I encounter along the way. This entry, however, is about an image taken of me. Almost 8 months ago I sat down with my husband to watch a documentary on W5 about something called the "liberation procedure." Unexpected to me I wept as I listened to the story unfold of an Italian Doctor who was turning the MS community on its head and questioning if MS could be a vascular rather than a neurological disease, and a disease that could be treated or cured at that. In the span on a 1 hour television program I realized that I had spent 7 years without hope of a future without MS. I never outwardly admitted this, I raised funds for the MS society, I told family and friends how hopeful I was but internally I had given up the day I was diagnosed. 7 months later I traveled to BC to have the tests done to see if I do indeed have this controversial condition labeled "CCSVI" I do not have all of the results yet all I know is that I have "indirect indications" of the disease but am waiting on further results. Even if they are positive the surgery is not yet offered in Canada so I am on a waiting list to fly to Poland in the Spring of 2011. At this point though the images of my veins and arteries, regardless of whether or not they lead to my "Liberation" represent so much more to me. In the 7 months since I was given that glimmer of hope I have taken charge of my life in a new way. I have returned to work. I am looking forward with new drive and a strong determination. This gift of hope has allowed me to FEEL the way I spoke to others about the disease and my future with it. I walked with a cane for the first time last week...a year ago that would have devastated me, it would have indicated the "beginning of the end." Instead I was able to look at it as all it was...something to help me.  So whether  or not my veins are clogged or narrowed or Dr Zamboni has given me the gift of a wider view of my future and for that reason the image posted with this blog entry today of my MRV will earn a place on the wall of my home.