An image of hope

The point of starting this blog was to write about my motivations for photography, about the emotions and experiences that I encounter along the way. This entry, however, is about an image taken of me. Almost 8 months ago I sat down with my husband to watch a documentary on W5 about something called the "liberation procedure." Unexpected to me I wept as I listened to the story unfold of an Italian Doctor who was turning the MS community on its head and questioning if MS could be a vascular rather than a neurological disease, and a disease that could be treated or cured at that. In the span on a 1 hour television program I realized that I had spent 7 years without hope of a future without MS. I never outwardly admitted this, I raised funds for the MS society, I told family and friends how hopeful I was but internally I had given up the day I was diagnosed. 7 months later I traveled to BC to have the tests done to see if I do indeed have this controversial condition labeled "CCSVI" I do not have all of the results yet all I know is that I have "indirect indications" of the disease but am waiting on further results. Even if they are positive the surgery is not yet offered in Canada so I am on a waiting list to fly to Poland in the Spring of 2011. At this point though the images of my veins and arteries, regardless of whether or not they lead to my "Liberation" represent so much more to me. In the 7 months since I was given that glimmer of hope I have taken charge of my life in a new way. I have returned to work. I am looking forward with new drive and a strong determination. This gift of hope has allowed me to FEEL the way I spoke to others about the disease and my future with it. I walked with a cane for the first time last week...a year ago that would have devastated me, it would have indicated the "beginning of the end." Instead I was able to look at it as all it was...something to help me.  So whether  or not my veins are clogged or narrowed or Dr Zamboni has given me the gift of a wider view of my future and for that reason the image posted with this blog entry today of my MRV will earn a place on the wall of my home.

A wintersleep

I bit the bullet in the fall and registered for a photography class at the Art College here in town. I was sooooooo excited to be a student again and to learn more about my camera. Alas the course was canceled due to "lack of registration" so my Saturday morning escapes were no more. Yesterday when I put the girls down for their naps I decided enough is enough! I do not need to wait to "escape" to go take photos, there are photo worthy things all around me. So I bundled myself up and trekked off into the yard. I took some shots of the beautiful frost that we have and I am happy with how some of them turned out. Most importantly I got a breath of fresh air right in my own backyard and by the time the girls woke up from their naps I was refreshed and ready to play.

After bedtime I loaded the files onto the computer and started to play in photoshop As many of you know my husband knows photoshop inside and out so you would think that I would just ask him for help....but no. I learn by doing so last night I did a-lot to my photos some good and some bad but I did manage to learn some new photoshop skills!!!

A need to chat

The reason I love my new found hobby is what it means to me when I look back at the photos I have taken so far. It is fantastic that I have a new hobby, I love learning new things and taking on new challenges but mostly I am amazed at the emotions that looking through my photo library can conjure up. Each photo that I take regardless of the subject stirs a memory for me. It may be of a place, a person or an over all "moment." But for me, each and every shot I take is a learning experience and an index of my life at that time. As I learn more about my camera and how to compose a decent shot I am able to take more pride in the finished products but all of the shots, even the terrible ones, bring a smile to my face. I start a photography class in 2 weeks and as I continue down my journey as a trigger happy mama all I can hope is that I do not lose touch with the "moment" in each of the pictures that I take.

Peace

and quiet....

The most wonderful thing about grabbing the camera and going out to shot some photos is that no one is talking to me! No demands are being made, no tasks necessary, no "BUT MAMA!" I get to take pictures of what I want, when I want. The down side of this is that I still a Mom...even when I have escaped the house. This means that like it or not I still have Mom brain and work on Mom time...doing too many things at once and rushing through all of them.

This last time out I found myself sitting in my SUV snapping photos out the window as I chatted with another Mother on my blackberry about the pros and cons of the H1N1 vaccine. When I hung up the phone and took a sip of my coffee I picked up the camera to return to the task at hand when my phone rang again. NO MORE I yelled and at that moment I declared war on my ties to Mommy multi-tasking while I was out. I climbed through my sunroof leaving my phone on silent in the car below me and spent the next 40 minuted enjoying my coffee, taking TIME to set up my shots and watching the sun set. It was glorious and as I slipped back into the drivers seat of my car and looked at the flashing red light on my blackberry I was comforted instead of annoyed.

So once again I may not have achieved any magnificent feats in photography but I did learn a lesson in patience and slowing down and I am confident that will apply to my photos and my Mommy skills ;)

Jessica

Mama Hits the road

Today I met with a good friend of mine to take a shot at portraits of children that are not sick of me pointing the camera at me. I had a blast with Holly and her two daughters and their close friend at a local park. When we were done with the photo shot I packed up my Camera and made my way to collect my children from their Nana and Grandpas house. On the way there though I was sidetracked. There is a gravel road that I pass nearly everyday and I always wonder where it leads. I always have a reason to not stop; one may way to an appointment in a hurry, two screaming kids, rushing home to the babysitter etc., etc. Today for some reason was the day I decided to travel the unknown road and I am so glad I did the photo opportunities were fantastic and more importantly I took the time for me :) I will upload a few of the photos today and more when I have more time to go through them.

And so it begins....

I first picked up Jeff's Camera in June. I decided that as a somewhat bored stay-at-home-mom a hobby might be in order, and a hobby that could involve my hubby was even better. Since then I have taken over 1500 photos and I would say maybe 10% are good :) It is, however, in my nature to try to master any new skill that I discover so this blog is meant to follow my progression as an amateur photographer!!!

I hope you enjoy reading my posts and viewing my photos!

Jessica